Richman, Poorman, Beggarman, Thief
by SilverDropsOfPlatinumInTheRain
Summary: The two had never met each other. They didn't know how similar they were. One accidental meeting on a rooftop, turns into a game of hide-and-seek across Europe. "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Sailor, Richman, Poorman, Beggarman, Thief." An unlikely meeting and an unlikely parting. And an unlikely reunion, all because of a rhyme.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello again, everyone. A special hello to the people of USUK fandom. If you haven't read me before, then this is the second USUK story I'm writing. I'm not a really big fan of it, but I decided to give it another shot. And this was the result.**

**I apologize for the auction description I will give. I don't know if they showcase something before an auction, but that will be the case in my story. If you know anything, then please don't hesitate to help me out about it.**

**Anyways, this is another human AU I've decided to try out. Enjoy!**

**(And yes, this chapter is supposed to be vague.)**

**.:|Silver|:.**

**P.S. **_**The events that occur are merely fictious. Any similarity to any work of art, establishment or person is merely coincidental.**_

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia. But if you do, I'm willing to pay you for the rights.**

* * *

**A Gelato Shop [Somewhere in Milan]**

"_Captain America has struck again! Last night, 'Paradox', painted by the famous painter Feliciano Vargas, was stolen from the Galleria Romulus. Apparently, they only found out about the missing painting, after all the alarms had been activated. By that time Captain America had escaped. We have a correspondent currently at the scene of crime. Giovanni, can you tell us about what happened?"_

"_Yes, Sarah, of course. The crime was conducted in Captain America's usual manner. So far the police have been unsuccessful in relocating the pianting. All that has been found is the usual mark that the Captain leaves…"_

The brown haired man muted the television, scowling up at the machine.

"Ay, people these days. Stealing from others because their country has no talent of its own. _E 'fastidioso_," scowled the Italian shopkeeper, grey eyes glinting as he shook his head and glanced at the customer that was sitting in front of him, watching the news with interest.

"Yeah. This Captain America man is going to mess up soon enough," agreed the customer, pushing his ice cream bowl away.

* * *

**Auction House [Milan, Italy]**

People milled around the room, voices lowered, feet slapping against the marble floor, and shuffling the center of the elegant marble room was a glass case, inside, which was, displayed a set of diamonds.

"…19 carats, it says…"

"…Came from the royal family…"

"…Pink diamonds. Rather rare, if I do say so myself…"

"…Bidding will be quite high…"

There were more hums as ladies dressed in designer clothes studied the glass case, waving their Louis Vuitton's and Prada's around as they gestured to their husbands. Men in flashy clothes appraised each other and mentally made notes about which bidders to watch out for.

There was one man who didn't quite fit in. He was dressed in jeans and a hoodie, and was slouching as he peered into the glass case with interest, chewing a piece of gum loudly. He received many irritated looks and some appraising ones from the people around him. His blue eyes glinted as they cast a brief look at the diamonds before he turned and shuffled away, giving space to the others who wanted to see. No one could really kick him out. If he had come inside, it meant he had paid the rather expensive ticket for the diamond showcasing. The boy walked away, pulling his hood over his dark hair and putting his earphones in as he walked out of the building.

Inside, another man was studying the diamonds with a curiosity. He gave them a simple, cursory glance before walking away, tapping at his phone.

People milled around the glass case, studying the diamonds, unaware of the two men that had just left.

* * *

The night was warm, the only respite being a cool breeze that floated past. A dark haired boy walked down the road, shifting the backpack on his shoulder; running a hand through his hair and wishing the night was over quickly so he could get rid of the wig. It was doing things to him. Things that really made his head itch. Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair again before glancing around. The streets were rather empty. After all, why would someone be around the Auction hall at this time of the night? Blue eyes glinting, the teen easily scaled a wall, jumping onto the terrace of the house. The light from a nearby street lamp caught on the frames of his silver glasses, making them shine out briefly, before he took a jog forward and leaped onto the adjoining roof.

"_Are you there yet, Captain America?" _asked a voice, mocking lightly. The teen jumped over the next roof with ease, barely slowing down his jog.

"I think you know. You _are_ stalking me."

"_Well, I can't really deny that. Come on. Faster. You know we've only got fifteen minutes to carry this out."_

"I know, I know. Don't get your panties in a twist."

"_Very amusing, Alfred."_

"Thank you."

There was silence for a second, only broken by a dull thud as Alfred jumped to the ground, landing with a jarring thump. The American paused, glancing around, before mentally reviewing where he was.

"_Straight up and turn left."_

Alfred followed the voice, quickly going in the direction, shifting the backpack on his shoulder with a shrug. He came to a stop in front the metal gate that blocked the back entrance to the Auction house.

"_You did bring the tools, right?"_

"No shit."

There was a small whir as the teen tapped out the passcode on the keypad, letting himself in and shutting the gate behind himself silently.

"_I've diverted the cameras here for about two minutes. You'd better walk faster."_

"Mattie, sometimes I really wonder about you."

"_You must think of me an awful lot. Are going to go at this pace all night?"_

Alfred rolled his eyes and quietly stood in front of the back entrance, studying the card swiping machine and pulling out a card.

"Pickpocketing is getting too easy. I worry about these people," he said under his breath, swiping the card and holding his breath. The machine flashed a small green light and a small whir indicated that the door was open. He silently stepped inside, shutting the door behind himself.

"_Well, they don't really look out for you, now do they? The cameras are back in place outside. I've managed to feed the security cameras in here a loop. You've got five minutes like I promised. All the alarms are deactivated too," _said Mattie, the sound of keys clattering from his side. The American in the museum chuckled quietly and swiftly made his way to where he had seen the diamonds. The glass case was still there, glowing a soft blue from the lights underneath it. Alfred paused to study it before moving quickly.

"Are there any guards here?"

"_No. Two outside are still knocked out. The other two are far from where you are. Disable the alarms and work quickly. I don't want to find out you've been caught. It'll be tedious, eh?"_

"Don't worry. I'll try to come home safe."

He took out a small diamond cutter from his bag, brushing his gloved fingers over it lovingly before turning on the glass. Blue eyes keenly studied the glass for hidden alarms before pressing the diamond cutter to the material and turning it on. There was the softest of whirs as the small machine started cutting the glass. Soon enough, the glass had been cut in a neat circle and Alfred was stowing the machine away again, blowing a strand of black hair from his face.

"I really hate this wig."

"_Its necessary. Get the diamonds out. Three minutes till the alarms go off."_

"Good."

The diamond case as taken out and closely examined with a practiced eye. The pink diamonds glittered faintly in the dark. Alfred let a small grin take over his face as he put the diamond case on the ground and took out a spray can. He shook it and let his grin turn into a smirk.

One minute later the words '_Captain America Was Here'_ were sprawled across the glass case, along with the Captain America shield. Alfred picked the diamond case up and hurried to the nearest set of stairs. Bounding up them, he mentally checked his map of the auction house and rushed out of a door to his left. It led to the glass terrace. As he stepped out, he spotted another person on the roof.

The person was dressed in skintight black clothes and had just climbed out of a loose glass piece in the roof. Even as he watched, the person put the glass back and turned to him, the top half of his face covered by a mask, and froze completely. Alfred froze too, thanking the heavens that he had pulled his hood up. The person then decided to ignore him and rushed past him, jostling him in the shoulder as they ran by with their bag. Without any noise, then person jumped off the edge of the roof. Alfred stared after them with wide eyes when the alarm system suddenly came on. There was a cacophony of noises in the museum. Suddenly remembering where he was, Alfred ran across the roof and to the tree he had spotted out before. Huddling in its branches, he slowly made his way to the tree next to it, and finally jumped to the ground, running again.

After a few minutes of running, and once he was at a safe distance, he realized Mattie was talking to him.

"…_Alfred! Al! Are you even listening?" _shouted the boy in his ear.

"Yo, Mattie, bro, I'm listening. What happened?"

"_Don't you 'bro' me, mister. I've been shouting at you for the past few minutes. You went unusually silent and had stopped on the roof. What happened?"_

"Nothing… I just saw this person there. I think it was a girl. She looked pretty flexible."

"_... Alfred, that could be detective or something. Are you honestly dumb?"_

"She came out of the glass. I don't think detectives do that."

"_Just get back to the hotel, hoser._"

"You and your Canadian lingo."

Alfred sighed and walked off again, catching a taxi back to his hotel.

* * *

**Hotel Room Number 178 [Milan, Italy]**

The door swung open and revealed a concerned looking boy. He had blond hair, with one curl that bounced in the air, deep violet eyes and was also wearing glasses. The boy shoved Alfred inside the room, locking the door and dusting his hands on his jeans. He had headphones slung around his neck, and was wearing a weary but excited look.

"Did you get them?" he asked with interest, turning the lights brighter in their room. As the lights brightened, Alfred looked around and noticed the laptop that was on and was displaying the museum. People were running around, screeching in Italian, and searching the place for him. He raised a hand.

"Let me take this wig off first. Man, it totally itches," he complained as he took the dark haired wig off. As the fake hair came off, it revealed his wheat hair, which gleamed in the light. There was a strand that was defying the laws of physics happily, much like the one on the other boy's head.

"Geez, Mattie. The least you could do is offer me water. I'm dying of dehydration here," pouted Alfred.

"Its Matthew. And Alfred F. Jones, next time reply when I'm shouting down your ear. It could've been something important." Matthew stood up nonetheless and tossed a bottle of water at his brother. Alfred snorted and made some half-assed promise before chugging the water down and gesturing at his bag.

"Should be in there."

Matthew took the bag eagerly and opened it up, pulling out the case. He flipped it open, expecting to see six pink diamonds glittering up at him. What he saw wasn't anything like it.

In place of the six diamonds sat six rubies. And a card. Blue eyes peered over the Canadian's shoulder, filled with confusion, and Alfred reached around to pick the card up.

The card was plain white. On one side was a strange symbol and on the other was a big yellow smiley face. There was only one word next to the smiley face. '_Tinker_'. Matthew had let out a groan of recognition. Alfred grinned.

_A challenge. Another one like him. How exciting._

* * *

**So… what do you think? I've got the whole story already planned out. I think about seven chapters unless I do something. Please tell me what you thought about this. REVIEWS! ^^**

**.:|Silver|:.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello people! This is my late update. I would like to inform anyone who reads any of my stories that I will be doing a lot of late updates. I have too much homework and tons of other things that I have to be working on too. It's not that fun. But don't worry, I'll be updating. Oh yeah, and you might have to wait quite some time for some as I've hit a roadblock. Relax, though. I'm trying my hardest.**

**Anyways, enjoy, as always! And remember, none of the stuff in this story is meant to be real. If it is, then it's a coincidence. And I apologize for it.**

**.:|Silver|:.**

* * *

**Streets, [Somewhere in Rome, Italy]**

The redhead walked down the streets, blue eyes glinting as they swept over to the boy next to him. The other boy was a quiet blond whose violet eyes were fixed on his phone.

"Hey, Matt?"

Matthew looked up, eyes widening slightly before glancing around quickly. No one had noticed them. At least, not yet.

"I told you, its _David_," he hissed quietly, pushing his glasses up his nose and returning his gaze to the phone, but not before a questioning glance at Alfred. And indeed, it was Alfred. The teenager was dressed in the casual clothes, a pair of shorts, converse and a loose t-shirt, and was wearing contacts instead of his glasses. Alfred huffed a slightly amused noise before rolling his eyes.

"Fine, _David_. Did you find anything for us? Rome is boring," he said. An old lady selling flowers gave him a glare. Obviously an Italian if she was so touchy about her city being called boring. Alfred attempted a charming smile. It didn't work on her. She was probably about to do something such as give him the finger, when a bunch of pretty Italian girls walked by, one of them giving a lascivious wink to the American teen as she walked by. Another swatted his Canadian brother on the ass. Matthew jumped, face bursting into heat as he gaped after the leaving girls. Alfred pouted. The old lady cackled.

"Aw man, you got a butt slap. _So_ not fair, dude," mumbled Alfred as he continued walking, making sure to drag his brother with himself. The blond finally shut his mouth and blinked a couple of times, his wide eyes reducing in size.

"What in the name of maple was _that_? That's not normal!" he gasped. Alfred rolled his eyes again.

"Whatever dude. They probably just liked your ass. So, find anything?"

"Alfred! You cant just say things like that! And yes, as a matter of fact. I did find something."

"Are you going to tell me?"

"Not until we get some ice cream. I think I'm starting to blister from the heat."

Alfred sighed and led Matthew to the nearest Gelato shop, which happened to be surrounded by three others, and shoved him in, sighing with relief as the air conditioner blasted them with cool air. The Italian manning the counter looked away from the news with interest.

"_Ciao_. What would you like?" he asked cheerfully, glancing back at the television. Both his customers also turned to the television.

"Can you turn the volume up?" asked Alfred just as Matthew asked for a lemon ice cream. The man turned the volume up and gave Matthew his ice cream before leaning on the counter to watch the news.

"…_the diamonds that were meant to be put on display today were stolen. Pink diamonds, worth an estimated 18 million euros were not found from their case in the morning. Along with the diamonds, six rubies, also to be auctioned away, were also stolen. Our correspondent, Marco, is on the scene of crime. Marco, what can you tell us about the heist?"_

"…_Yes, hello Alicia. I am currently at Di Vargas Auction house and in front of the case where the diamonds were stolen. As you can see, Captain America was the one who stole the diamonds. But, the police revealed that after a thorough searching, they found a card stuck on back of the glass case, and also discovered stolen rubies. _(Here the camera zoomed in on the back of the glass case to show a card taped to it.) _And they have confirmed that the ruby theft, and maybe the diamonds as well, were carried out in the presence of Tinker. Tinker, one on the top of the line in his passion, is the one who left the card there with a note to the police that warned them of something happening in Rome. The police have cautioned the…" _

The news carried on and a jingle of the door indicated that the customers had left the shop. The Italian man working the counter cast a curious glance around before fixing his gaze on the television.

* * *

**Hotel Room Number 203 [Rome, Italy]**

Alfred sighed, stretching his legs out on the bed and pushing his glasses up his nose as he focused on his iPhone.

"Get the map yet, Mattie?" he asked, cutting through the low hum of the air conditioner and the two laptops his brother was manning. The Canadian looked up from his work and blinked before returning to the screens.

"Its not as easy as it seems, Al. And I don't see you helping."

"You don't need help, dude. You're, like, skilled."

"As much as I love the compliment, a little aid would be appreciated."

There was a silence as neither moved from their positions and kept working. Then Alfred reached across to grab the hotel phone and dial the staff for some room service.

"Hello? Yeah, could you send up lunch? Room 203. Thanks." Putting the receiver down, and still keeping his eyes glued to the screen of his phone, Alfred grinned.

"Got you some brain food, man. Need anything else?" Matthew groaned.

"When I said help, I meant you actually doing some active research."

"I _am_ doing some active research. But it's on Tinker. You know, the dude who stole my diamonds."

"Alfred, I thought we decided on leaving him alone."

"But he stole from me!"

Both the brothers looked up from their respective screens and rolled their eyes at each other. They were interrupted as the bell rang. Alfred leaped up and rushed towards the door, throwing it open and taking the food from the lady, flashing her a quick smile. Slamming the door shut, he set the tray next to his brother and hummed as he went back to his phone. Matthew opened one of the bowls on the table, letting the delicious smell of fish fill the air. Picking up his fork idly and stabbing it through a piece of fish and tomatoes, sticking it into his mouth with a hum. The blond American glanced at the food before taking up another fork and scooping some of the fish into his mouth too.

"S' good," he mumbled through the fish in his mouth. Violet eyes glanced away from the laptop with a grin.

"I know, eh? Anyways here, I got where you're going tonight. _Il Vuoto_. It's a painting exhibition that is going to be happening tonight. The hall is located on the outskirts of the city. They're selling the painting, _De Fantasie,_ by the Dutch Painter Abel Jansen. There's going to be a descriptive viewing, followed by a few words from the painter himself and then dinner. If you're going to get that painting, you'll have to get it during the dinner itself. There's going to be a guard shift that'll happen at that time, and the painting will be left alone for about fifteen minutes. I'll take the time to distract the cameras but you'll have to do the work. _Tu comprends_?"

"Don't go all French on me, dude. But yeah, I get it. Go in, steal painting, get the hell out. You do the rest."

"Lovely how much faith you have in me."

"That's me. Am I getting a map?"

"Mmmhmm." The Canadian handed the other blond a map and gave a grin, glancing over the edges of his glasses.

"Cheers mate," he said in the most Australian sounding accent he could. Alfred gave him a surprised look but grinned too.

"Ta."

* * *

**Il Vuoto, Exhibition Hall [Rome, Italy]**

There was a gentle undulation in the murmurs from the crowd as the people made their way to the main room where the viewing was to be held.

Crystal chandeliers dangled from the ceiling, casting a brilliant glow on the lushly carpeted floor and security guards stood on the higher levels of _Il Vuoto_. Well-dressed waiters moved through the crowd with ease, serving tall flutes of champagne and crystal glasses of wine. Someone walked past with a plate of _bruschetta_.

Blue eyes surveyed the crowd with interest before flicking to the stage. Onstage stood a Dutchman, apparently getting ready to give a speech on the painting.

"_That's Abel Jansen, the painter. It's his painting. I give you two minutes before his speech starts. Turn right, walk straight. You'll see a corridor. Go down it. The guards will be changing duties, so you'll have to be careful that ones leaving don't notice you. After that the rest will be easy. You'll see the painting just down the corridor,_" instructed Matthew from the Bluetooth connected to the American's ear. It was well hidden and practically undetectable.

"Where are you anyways, bro?" asked Alfred quietly, flashing a charming smile at a girl watching him, running a hand through his flaming hair. She winked and turned away to continue talking to her friends.

"_At the bar. There's this really interesting French guy here. It's been so long since I last exercised my French."_

"Enjoying?"

"_Definitely. Oh, he's here. Keep an ear out for me."_

"Of course."

Alfred mingled with the crowd, making aimless chatter with some people, flirting with others, and mainly biding his time. He noticed Abel shift in his stance and blinked. Probably the speech about to start.

"Hello ladies and gentlemen-"

Yup, the speech. As soon as the Dutchman had begun to speak, his Canadian brother's voice sounded in his ear.

"_Right now would be a good time,_" hissed the Canadian voice. Alfred chucked and slowly drifted away, faking some excuse about the bathroom to get away from a particularly clingy woman.

Feet echoing slightly on the marble floor, the American rushed towards the corridor his brother had told him, red hair glinting in the lights. There were some noises up ahead, which turned out to be one of the guards leaving. Alfred pressed himself against the wall, waiting for the guard to pass by. Once the Italian man was gone, he quickly moved into the room that held the painting.

The room was rather bland compared to the rest of the building, with its beige walls and dimmed lighting. In the middle of the wall sat a painting, lit from underneath. The light cast odd shadows on the artwork, making it seem all the more intriguing and enigmatic. Blue eyes roved the canvas before making note of the alarms on the painting. It was a frankly alarming amount (pun not intended).

"_Al? I'm in the bathrooms. Did you get there? Can you describe what's there?_"

"Yeah. I think they've got those fancy art sensor things. I think there's a tag somewhere in the frame of the painting and a vibration sensor. And there's a pressure sensor behind the painting," said the American quickly and efficiently. There was a short silence from the other end before the Canadian spoke.

"_Firstly, it's not a 'pressure sensor'. It's a highly sensitive-"_

"Dude. I've got nine minutes left or something."

"_Give me a second. I'm hacking into the sensors the tag is connected with to make sure there'll be no alerting anyone. And…just…give…me…_une_…aha! Okay, the camera is getting a loop, the alarm is deactivated and I've managed to make sure the 'vibration sensor' won't give any strange readings. Can you do anything about the pressure sensor?"_

"I don't know. I haven't dealt with one before." Alfred moved across the marble quickly, studying the painting. There was a pressure sensor attached to the frame, which was in turn attached to the wall. Any change in the force and the pressure sensor would send off readings straight to any device it was connected to.

"Dude, I don't know what to do," hissed Alfred quietly, taking out a small, yet sharp, knife out of his pocket, slipping it's blade out and turning it over in his hands, glancing over his shoulder once. There was a great sigh from the other side.

"_Alfred, Alfred, Alfred. What would you do without me?"_

"Get done faster?"

"_And get caught. Can you take a picture of the sensor and send it to me?"_

"Give me a second."

There was a brief flash of light as the camera took a picture. A moment later there was a groan from the blue-tooth.

"Alright there, bro? Not taking a shit are you?"

"_Shut up. This is going to be hard. Listen carefully." _Matthew gave quick detailed descriptions of the piece of technology and then on how to dismantle it. Following the instruction was a bit harder, but it got done quickly. Slitting the painting out of its frame, Alfred rolled it up and hurried out. Getting past the new guard was easy. He was more focused on making sure no one could see the pin stain on his pants than on concentrating on the people. Alfred slipped past him quietly, shoving the painting at his brother once he was close enough. Matthew, in turn, stuffed the painting his bag, casting a wary glance around before grabbing Alfred's arm.

"Come on. We're going."

"Awesome."

As they wound their way through the crowd, a flamboyant looking man with long blond hair paused in front of them, waving a hand at Matthew eagerly.

"Where are you going, _mon p'tit_? I thought you were staying," said the man in a low and growling French accent. Alfred flashed a charming smile at the man.

"Hello. Matthew isn't feeling that well, we were just heading home," he fibbed, casting a quick glance at his now red-haired brother. They both almost looked like twins. (And that actor…you know, the one who played Ron in Harry Potter. Alfred wanted a wand Matthew disagreed. Vehemently.) The Frenchman cast a – surprisingly – knowing look which vanished as instantly as it was there. Alfred wondered if he imagined it.

"Ah, the poor thing! He must have the stomach bug. It is going all around, I heard!" he said dramatically, patting the young Canadian on the head and giving him a kiss to the cheek before striding away.

"_Au revoir, Mathieu. J'espère que tu te portes mieux_,_"_ he called out as he parted. The Canadian watched the blond leave and mumbled something in return, grabbing Alfred by the arm and shoving him in the direction of the exit.

They both left.

* * *

**Streets, [Somewhere in Rome, Italy]**

Alfred shoved his hands into his pockets, humming as he watched people hurry by. Matthew shifted the bag from his left shoulder to his right, eyes filled with thought.

"What are you thinking about?" Alfred asked, glancing over at his brother. Violet eyes met blue.

"Nothing. Just about this painting. I wonder…"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing. It was probably nothing." They both were abruptly yanked out of their thoughts as a man ran by, banging into the surprised Canadian. Matthew let out a yelp, clutching the bag on his shoulder tighter. Another man chased the first one, banging into the Canadian again and shouting back an apology before continuing to swear at the man that had run by. Matthew straightened, patting the bag to make sure the painting was safe. It was. Alfred snorted and cursed the figures that had run by before glancing at his brother.

"Is it okay?"

"Your concern for me is astounding."

"Is it okay?"

"Yeah."

* * *

**Hotel Room Number 203, [Rome, Italy]**

Alfred collapsed on his bed, letting out a huge sigh.

"Aw dude, that was pretty epic," he said, lifting his head to grin and tossing his wg away. Matthew was already running his hands through his own blond hair, mussing it up.

"You were right. That wig _is_ itchy," he mused, before grinning and opening the bag to check their prize. The roll of paper was pulled out and opened. Matthew let out a disbelieving noise.

"Alfred?"

"Yeah?"

"This is not _De Fantasie_."

They both looked at the painting together. It was a painting of the _Mona Lisa _with a huge smile on her face (really, it was a 'U' painted in red) and an eyebrow raised.

"Dude…the _Mona Lisa _doesn't _have_ eyebrows!" gasped out Alfred. Matthew face palmed.

"And you don't see the huge ass smile? Who changed the painting?"

Their question was answered soon enough. A line in white caught their attention.

"_Keep trying! Tinker._" A heart at the end of the message.

"Not again."

* * *

_**Francis' parting comment: I hope you get better soon!**_

**Well? What do you think? Was it good? Bad? Please review! (And you're free to message me whenever if you want to just talk.)**

**.:|Silver|:.**


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